"ONE QUESTION AT A TIME, MASTER ROBERT, SHE SAID IN A TONE OF VOICE WHICH LEFT NO DOUBT OF HER AUTHORITY AND RIGHT TO BE WHERE SHE WAS. "I AM MADEMOISELLE MARIE CHARPENTIER. I AM YOUR NEW GOVERNESS, AND I AM HERE TO ASSUME MY DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES WHICH INCLUDE CONVERTING YOU INTO A MORE ACCEPTABLE FACSIMILE OF A HUMAN BEING,"

MY JAW DROPPED, AND MY MOUTH WAS AGAPE FOR A FULL MOMENT, BEFORE SHE WAVED AN IMPERIOUS HAND AT ME.

"YOU WILL PLEASE BEGIN THIS CONVERSION BY CLOSING YOUR SILLY MOUTH AND ASSUMING A MORE INTELLIGENT EXPRESSION, IF THAT IS POSSIBLE, SHE SAID.

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" I INQUIRED ANGRILY. "I DON'T NEED A GOVERNESS. I'M TOO OLD TO HAVE A GOVERNESS. THAT'S FOR LITTLE KIDS."

"EXACTLY!" MADEMOISELLE SNAPPED. "THAT IS WHY YOUR MOTHER HAS ENGAGED MY SERVICES. YOU ARE STILL A MERE CHILD, AND NOT A VERY WELL-BEHAVED ONE AT THAT, N'EST-CE PAS?"

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MADEMOISELLE SPOKE WITH ONLY THE BAREST TRACE OF A FRENCH ACCENT, AND THE TONE OF HER VOICE INDICATED THAT SHE WAS NOT ONE TO BROOK ANY DISSENSION ON MY PART, SO I LAPSED INTO A SURLY SILENCE.

AND

"YOU WILL NOTE THAT THE SERVANTS I HAVE REMODELED YOUR BEDROOM THIS AFTERNOON. FROM NOW ON IT WILL BE YOUR BOUDOIR, AND YOU SHALL REFER TO IT AS SUCH AT WHATEVER TIMES YOU CHOOSE TO DISCUSS IT," SHE COMMANDED.

"MY WHAT?" DEMANDED AS SOUGHT TO LOOK PAST HER INTO THE ROOM.

"YOUR BOUDOIR, MASTER ROBERT!" THE REDOUBTABLE MADEMOISELLE REPLIED CURTLY. "A BOUDOIR IS THE BEDROOM OF A GIRL."

MADEMOISELLE STEPPED TO ONE SIDE NOW, AND CAUGHT MY FIRST REAL: LOOK AT THE ROOM SINCE I HAD LEFT IT MANY HOURS AGO. I WAS PROFOUNDLY SHOCKED TO DISCOVER THAT ALL MY DECORATIONS MODEL AIRPLANES, FOOTBALL PENNANTS, PURLOINED STREET SIGNS, ROCK 'N' ROLL POSTERS, AND OTHER TEEN-AGE TROPHIES HAD DISAPPEARED.

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